


All That Glitters

by FaiaHae



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Agent Stern is Aubrey's Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Aubrey Little is a famous magician, Dani's just trying to keep her bakery afloat, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, background jakeith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 13:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18316571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaiaHae/pseuds/FaiaHae
Summary: Dani would do anything to keep her bakery afloat, but maybe she should have checked the proverbial fine print before she agreed to fake date the biggest up and coming star of the entertainment world.





	All That Glitters

Dani’s first reaction to the sound of the door slamming open was less than charitable, and also not a collection of words she was allowed to say at work. 

 

The second reaction was “Hey, easy on my fucking door!” because she was only human.

 

And then she caught sight of who was in the doorway, and holy fucking shit, she’d just cussed at  _ Aubrey Little _ , oh fuck, oh no. 

 

Aubrey didn’t seem offended, which was great, but she also looked kind of panicked, which was....less great.

 

“Um, sorry, I’m just- running. I was running. And now I need to hide? Can I hide? In here? Like do you have a table I can get under or-”

 

Dani bit her lip, considering. Honestly, business had been shitty lately, and a small uncharitable part of her soul really really wanted the paparazzi to catch Aubrey Little in her coffee shop, because that would be good for business like nothing else was. 

 

But Aubrey really did look panicked, and she was  _ pretty _ and her puppy dog eyes were fucking killer. Dani wondered if she even realized she was doing it. 

 

“Um, sorry, but do you promise you’ll buy something? If I let you hide? Business has been kinda shitty and I-”

 

“Sure! No problem!!” Aubrey dove under the table of the booth against the wall, and before Dani could really process that (or suggest a less fucking obvious hiding place!) a hoard of cameramen went by the glass front of the store, barreling past without so much as looking in the window, and okay, maybe Dani understood why Aubrey needed to hide under a table. That was a  _ lot  _ of cameramen. Dani craned her neck, leaning over the counter to get a better look outside.

 

“What did you  _ do?” _

 

Dani saw Aubrey’s feet pull a little further under the table.

  
“I, uh. Well, I don’t think it  _ legally _ counts as assault-”   
  


“Am I harboring a fugitive? You gotta tell me these things. You owe me at least two purchases now.” Dani deadpanned, and there was a light laugh from underneath the table that made her heart pick up the pace in her chest.

 

“No, I just tripped someone into a fountain. Pretty sure my legal team will be able to write it off as an accident.”

 

“Was it?”

 

There was a long pause, and Dani was glad Aubrey was under the table so she didn’t have to hide her shit-eating grin.

 

“...no.”

 

“So why’d you do it? You seem pretty level headed to me, you know, for a famous magician with a, quote, ‘firey streak’. Loved that article.”

 

Aubrey wheezed.

  
“That article was trash. They took about 90% of what I said out of context.”

 

“You’re avoiding the question~.”

 

Aubrey sighed.

 

“He asked if the rumors about me and  _ snowboarding legend Jake “the cool ice” coolice  _ were true.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“...and if it meant I’d ‘finally picked a side.’”

 

Dani winced.

 

“Yikes. So the usual biphobic nonsense, then.”

 

Aubrey sighed, and Dani muffled a giggle as she saw the top of the poof of Aubrey’s bright red hair over the edge of the table as she started to get up.

 

“I should be used to it, honestly, I just....don’t like Jake like that! And he’s got a boyfriend and everybody just ignores that or acts like I’m gonna steal him or something and it’s major league gross.”

 

Dani hummed sympathetically. 

 

“Well, maybe if you get a girlfriend they’ll stop.”

 

Aubrey’s head poked up from the edge of the table, and her expression was calculating, and Dani realized a second that she’d just set herself up for something.

 

“So-”

 

“No. No, absolutely not.”

 

Aubrey  _ pouted _ and it was  _ killer _ and no one had the right to be that pretty. Unfair. Brutal.

 

“Hear me out!”

 

Dani glared, and Aubrey put her chin in her hands on the table.

“Okay so, your bakery isn’t doing that well, right?”

 

“....right.”

 

“So I bet if we tell the media we’re dating, I can promo your shop! We can do like a tie-in or something.”

 

Dani’s heart was racing, partially from the concept of fake dating  _ Aubrey Little _ , and partially because there were dollar signs floating in front of her eyes. Dammit. Dammit Dammit Dammit.

 

“...and how am I going to handle dating a celebrity all of a sudden? How do I avoid-” Dani pointed at the door, indicating the way the cameramen had gone.

 

“THAT.”

 

Aubrey shrugged, flippant. 

 

“I’ve got a security team. I just don’t bring them anywhere because they’re like. Old. and boring.”

 

“...uhhuh.”

 

“Well, I mean, Stern’s nice but-” 

 

Dani rubbed her forehead, deciding she’d better make a decision before she got the bios on every one of Aubrey’s team and friends.

 

“You promise you’ll help with my shop? And what would I need to do?”

 

Aubrey looked....careful. Caring. Dani’s heart twisted in her chest.

 

“Nothing you’re not comfortable with. A few public dates, maybe some TV show appearances. I’d like to hang out here more. That’s it.”

  
“That’s it?”

 

“That’s it. Promise.”

 

Dani took a deep breath.

 

“Okay. I’ll do it.”   
  


She hoped she didn’t regret this. 


End file.
